Three years ago today, I made the best decision I've ever made. I said, "I do" to the best man I know. Doing life with him has been an honor and I thank my lucky stars each and every night I get to call him mine. I never thought I could be happier than I was on this day three years ago. But every day since has proved me wrong. 8 weeks and 1 day ago our family grew by one. Seeing my husband as a father has forever changed my heart. I always knew he'd be a great one because of the kind of husband he was to me. But I never could have imagined a life this sweet.
Matt, I love you more today than I ever thought possible. Thank you for loving me fiercely and without reserve. Thank you for taking me as I am, faults and all. And thank you for making each day with you the best day I've ever had.
Happy Anniversary Matthew Warren Lopatka! I love you!
happy anniversary to the love of my life. two years ago today i embarked on the greatest adventure ever - marriage. two years ago i made wild promises with a full and faithful heart. two years ago i began my fairy tale, and i'm so glad i get to live it every day since then. has it been easy? nothing worth it ever is. but i mean this with every ounce of my being when i say marrying this man was the best thing i've ever done. he makes me better, he makes me stronger, he makes me happier, he makes me funnier, he makes me sillier, he makes me more lovable, and best of all? when i am none of these things - not happy, not good, not pleasant and not lovable - he still loves me with all of his heart. how did i get so lucky? i will never be able to answer that but i will count him as my blessing forever and ever. happy anniversary matthew!
OK so this is
probably going to be My. Favorite. Post. Ever. For 2 reasons. 1) My husband is
here posting about what he has learned since marrying ME. 2) I’m sharing two
video highlights from mywedding day.Can you see me smiling from ear to ear? (I decided not to post a ton of pictures because I did thatduring my wedding recap here). This post also might be the longest post ever,
so bear with me guys and keep reading! I promise it's worth it (I hope so at least). But before I let the hubs take over I’m
going to reflect a bit too. So here it
is dear readers, what I’ve learned since marrying Matt.
What Denise
has learned…
As I sit here
to reflect about what I have learned I just want to thank all of my guest bloggers. It has been an honor havingthese fabulous ladiesspill what they have learned since saying I do. I’m not even sure I can follow them but I’ll
do my best. So here goes nothing…
1) Comparison
is the thief of all joy.
Period. In this age where everyone posts
everything on the internet via Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, blogs and a ton
more avenues, keep in mind they are posting their best self. We are not seeing the heart ache, tears or
anger in their life – the fender bender, broken wine glass or fight with their
husband. No one posts that stuff. And you know what? Maybe they really don’t have any of
that. And that’s amazing for them. But be thankful for what you do have and most importantly who you have in your life. That goes not just for your husband or wife
but your family and friends too. Be
thankful for them and what they bring to your life. I have learned that what I have and who I
have in my life are mine – special to me and that God has placed each of these
people in my life for a reason. And for
that I am thankful. So next time your
swooning over the cute new house someone just bought or the beautiful chiavari
chairs at their wedding (and being sad it’s not you), be happy for them, but be
thankful for what you have too. And know
that we each pave our own way and that is
a true blessing.
2)Have secrets and keep them.
Number 1 has led me to the second thing I have learned since saying I
do. Again, in a world where everyone’s
life is on display via the World Wide Web, it is important to have some secrets
and keep them. Every now and then I’ll post the flowers that
Matt sent me or a sweet note, but I don’t post half of our little secrets. Those
are sacred. The world does not need
to know about our dance party last night or my surprise chocolate cupcakes –
because those are things that we share and no one else. So friends, I warn you – don’t post every
little detail of your marriage or your life.
Save some secrets for those you love.
Secrets create a bond and reminds me that what I have is special and for
no one else but me.
3) Let each other try it their way and
even fail if needed. Sounds weird I know, but I’ve learned that it’s
OK for me to let Matt fail and vice versa.
I remember a pivotal conversation with my mom about two months after I
got married. I had called her because I
was frustrated my car needed something fixed that wasn’t a necessity (like the
automatic window or something I can’t remember) and Matt didn’t want to fix
it. And I remember saying to my mom, “but
dad would have fixed it.” (ugh looking
back I sounded like such a little brat) Right
then and there my mama set me straight, and from then on I have not disrespected
my husband like that again. My mom
reminded me that my dad wasn’t always the man he is now and that he’s not
perfect either, and most important – that Matt is not my dad. I cannot expect him to do the things my dad
did nor do I really want him to. I married Matt because of the person HE is and
no other reason. And in the end,
Matt was completely right. My stupid
mishap on my car didn’t need to be fixed and I know he would never let me drive
something unsafe. Another example - we
bought our first home about a year after tying the knot. It was an older house with a lot of charm and
character but also a lot of things that needed to be fixed. A week after moving in the door knob
broke. What the heck. It was late at night, we were both tired and
annoyed, and my hubby wanted to try and fix it himself while I wanted to go and
buy a new one at Home Depot and be done with it. But it was then that I let him try to fix it –
because his pride was more important to me than that stupid door knob. He did fix it but eventually we had to get
another one and that’s OK. He was able
to try and succeed and learned from that.
When I’m in the kitchen cooking and am burning the pasta or the
casserole (which happens more than I’d like to admit), Matt lets me cook and
then eats every last bite. Despite the
fact that he is a MUCH better cook than I am and I know he could offer helpful
advice, he understands my need to try and fail so that I can learn. So, don’t be so quick to correct and criticize. Let each other try things and fail if need be
– that is how you live and learn together.
4) Pray.
Pray often. Pray together. Pray for each other. Being in prayer together has strengthened our
relationship more than I can express.
Hearing my husband talk to God and pray for me and our family touches my
heart in a place that is so deep. When I
am frustrated with Matt, I pray for patience.
When he is frustrated with me, he prays for grace. Because we’re not in this alone (thank
goodness) and we are not perfect – we need help. Bottom line. I am thankful that our marriage is grounded
in our faith and that I have confidence that my husband is praying constantly.
5) Invest in the people in each other’s
lives. It is important that my best friends are also
Matt’s friends and that his friends are mine too. Take time to really get to know and invest in
the people in your spouse’s life and love them unconditionally. I am so lucky that Matt’s friends also have
amazing girlfriends and wives too but I have truly gotten to know his
friends. I hope they know that I would
do anything for them just as Matt would.
Matt has also taken time to invest in my friends. He probably doesn’t know how much it even
means to me when he comes home and says, “Have you talked to Mere lately? How is Jack’s studying going?” or “You haven’t
seen Kristen lately, you should grab dinner with her.” It’s those statements that confirm his
interest and relationship with my friends and it means the world to me. I hope my friends know how much they mean to
him too. I am also thankful for the friends we have met together. Overall, be friends with his friends and vice
versa. It matters.
So those are just
5 little tid bits in to what I have learned since my wedding day. I could honestly go on forever. I could talk about the importance of
distraction-free dinners, date night and taking good care of yourself to be
your best spouse but I am scared you guys won’t read the whole post if it’s too
long so I’ll stop and hand it over to man who steals my heart every day. I should warn you though – this is uncensored
and unedited. Matt wrote and I posted –
no edits at all – he’s a funny one too :).
So here he is….
What Matthew has learned…
When Denise
first asked me to write about what I had learned since we got married in late
September 2010, I thought to myself “no problem.” But as I sit here trying to put my thoughts
to words, I find it extremely difficult. But, here are 25 things I have learned
since getting married!
1) Happy Wife = Happy Life
2) The world does not revolve around
sports, fantasy football and poker
3) Shit happens (I used to tell myself
Denise did not go #2)
4) Bachelor and Bachelorette for women =
Sunday and Monday Night Football for men
5) Date night once weekly = mandatory
6) Going to sleep at 11pm is late
7) Never go to sleep mad
8) Denise would watch E! News every night
if given the opportunity
9) Week-long vacation once yearly =
mandatory
10) It is important to be friends with
your spouse’s friends
11) The best annual Christmas present for
my wife is an US Weekly subscription
12) Listening is often more important than
talking
13) Nothing beats a good night kiss
14) It is important to switch between
romantic comedies and action movies for movie night
15) Denise is the most beautiful woman in
the world (well I knew that before I got married, but I am reminded much more
frequently now)
16) It is fun to do things we both enjoy
17) I love Marvel movies (X-Men, Iron Man,
Spiderman) – well I knew this before I got married, but still….
18) I am the only person in my household
who enjoys Marvel movies
19) Every young couple should have a dog
20) It is okay to agree to disagree
21) Nothing beats making dinner with
Denise
22) I secretly enjoy The Bachelor and The
Bachelorette
23) Denise secretly enjoys watching
football all day Saturday and Sunday ;)
24) Three things will last
forever--faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love
25) Happy Wife = Happy Life
Marriage
truly is a gift from God and I am the luckiest guy in the world to have the
opportunity to marry my best friend.
Isn't he wonderful? Love. Him. Sigh. And now for my two favorite video highlights (both thanks to K2 Productions)... there is some overlap in the footage but I couldn't resist sharing both because I love the songs and they make me happy...
It’s finally
Friday, and the re-living of my wedding week is officially coming to an end…
well for now at least. But don’t worry; I
have saved the most important part of planning my wedding for last. You want to know my biggest secret? The people. The people that stood beside me on my wedding
day, the people that stood beside me the months leading up to my wedding day
and the people who have always stood beside me.
They are what made my wedding day so special. Because at the end of the day, you can take
away the flowers and fancy cars; take away the 80’s music and yes, even the perfect
wedding dress. September 25, 2010 would
still be my perfect day. I married the best man I know. He challenges me and fights for me. And my family who has loved and sacrificed for
me was there for it all. And my friends –
my sisters. The lengths they went to in order to make me
feel special, beautiful and most of all loved,
was incredible. I will forever be
humbled by my experience of wedding planning.
I hope I am as good of a friend, sister and daughter as they were to me. Thank
you. Here are a few of those special people.
sisters and moms at my bridal luncheon
1. with my sissy and my mom, Veronica and Linda 2. with my sister-in-laws and mom-in-law, Sarah, Jen and Margaret
matt with his boys
my sister and her family
two of my besties
1. Emily "emmie" 2. Beth "bethy" my beautiful readers and greeters
Finding the perfect dress. It is what every girl dreams about. I know I did.
I had to find my perfect dress twice though – well sorta. The first bridal boutique I went to I was not
ready to buy a dress. I made that very clear
to everyone involved (and by very clear, I mean the lady had to ask me to stop
repeating myself, she got the picture).
But she didn't get the
picture. Like I mentioned in a previous
post, I am a huge people-pleaser. So as
the persuasive and might I add, pushy, saleswoman kept talking, and my mom and
my sister kept nodding, oohing and ahhhing, I ended up saying “OK I guess this
is the dress.” That was my first mistake.
You never guess it’s the right dress.
You know. So I went home claiming to be excited about
my wedding dress. A few days went buy
and I had talked myself into really liking the dress. But a mom always knows. It just wasn’t me. She knew it, so did I and apparently so did
the saleswoman because when my mom called the boutique the lady was more than
happy to refund our money and cancel my order.
So that was my dress hoopla. The second
go round was much better and consisted of my mom and I sipping champagne,
laughing a lot and finding the dress. I will say despite the wedding dress debacle,
the bridesmaid dress search was much more stressful – especially for a people pleaser.
How do I find a dress that all my friends will like, feel comfortable in
and possibly wear again? (OK OK I know
that no one ever wears a bridesmaid dress again, but it sounds good). Luckily I believe I found the perfect
dress. It helped that all of my
bridesmaids are stunning in a garbage bag.
So here are the details about what we wore…
Bride's Dress: Pronovias
Bridesmaids' Dresses: Vera Wang
Groom & Groomsmen Tuxes:
Calven Klein
the bling. 1. my engagement ring (thank you furnished photography) 2. matt's wedding band
the buttons.
i swear i didn't hire models to stand beside me. my friends are just that beautiful.
love him
the handsome groomsmen
groomsmen gift. cufflinks for the college they attended.
Again thank you to DVA Photography for all of my beautiful wedding pictures.
Food and flowers. My day-to-day life is still consumed with
them both. I love food and I love
flowers. This was probably the easiest
part of planning my wedding. Matt and I picked out the menu, appetizers and midnight snack in 5 minutes. The cake design? All the hubs. The cake sampling? We couldn't decide so we had a different flavor for every layer. My mom, my sister and I knocked out the flowers with a couple of meetings and some wine. I knew I wanted white – lots of white – and some
green too. Oh and texture. I wanted some texture in my bouquet – aka not a super round ball (although lately I have seem some gorgeous round bouquets). So my bouquets were a
mix of lilies, white roses, lots of greenery and some spunk. Here is what I ended with…
personalized menus
cake tasting with all parents. 5 mini cakes. each a different flavor. amazing
Best. Night. Ever. That is how I remember my wedding reception
and how I hope that most of my family and friends do as well. But there was a lot of planning that went
into that special night. As I mentioned
before it was not always a cake walk, but my control-freak nature kept me
organized and my superhuman mom made everything possible. I am excited to share with you all of the
little details that made my reception my
reception. As much as I’d like to
claim complete originality it is not so.
When I got engaged it was blogs and inspiration boards that I turned to
in order to find my ideas and my details.
I loved the way roses floated through the air on one blog as the happy
couple made their exit. So I had to have rose petals. My heart melted when I saw Thank You Boards
in a card, so guess what? I got me some boards. So my hope in offering these little details
is that someone will find inspiration for their special day or their best
friend’s special day, or that someone will just appreciate it and smile.
As a Bride you always wonder, will anyone notice the silver
chargers? Or the pinned seating
chart? Or what about the personalized
menus? While there are some people who
may pass over your details, I am not one of them. I think that once you plan a wedding or have been a part of a wedding you have
a new found respect for the art. You
notice the silver ribbon around the cake that matches the programs. You get it.
And you appreciate it. I am still consumed by wedding blogs and
sweet love stories, because it’s not
just one night you’re planning. Not to
me. It’s the beginning of forever. And that
is something truly special. So today will be about the details. My details of my day. Enjoy…
1. Place Settings/Favors - Matt and I both have a huge sweet tooth. So, on the reply cards we requested that every guest include their favorite desert recipe. My mom printed and compiled all of the recipes for a desert cookbook as a favor on our wedding day.
our place settings had alternating gifts. every other one had a tin of mints and the others had a cookbook.
our cookbooks. a labor of love. thanks mom
2. Personalized Menus - we had a sit down dinner where everyone chose what they ate so we had to have a way for the waiters to know what they orderd.... Personalized menus in different colors were the answer.... once again, mom you're brilliant
personalized menus at every place setting
3. Candy Table - Have I mentioned we love sweets? We had to have a candy table... and floating candles throughout the ballroom
4. Words of Wisdom - When I got married I was teaching 2nd grade and was blessed with an artist for a class mom. Fate? I think so. She was so unbelievably kind and had all of our 7 year-olds write marriage advice. Needless to say it was sweet, entertaining and hilarious. She compiled the advice into the shape of a wedding cake and how could I not display this in my cocktail area?
5. Bridal Portrait - This one was tricky for me because I did not like my hair from the front.... so i got creative.
6. The same signs seen here were flipped over for the "Thank You." We included these in our thank you notes.
7. Random Surprise - my dad called up a groomsman to sing the fight song for Virginia Tech. (my dad is a HUGE Tech fan - more on that later)
8. Exit Strategy - my mom has been known to monogram everything, including our fake rose petals for throwing.
9. Transportation - My parents surprised us with a Rolls-Royce to leave in. Best ride of my life.
