Today is a day I’ve had on my calendar for months. It is the day I was supposed to return to my job. My job that I loved. But instead, I’m playing peek-a-boo and encouraging tummy time. Funny how things change.
I made a career move last November. I landed my dream job. Truthfully, if I could draw up a job in my brain it would be the one I had. I was working with students and a population that I so dearly love, and the people I got to work with were amazing. I was on a fantastic team and we were making so much progress in our students’ lives. Little did I know when I took that job, I was pregnant. Now I’ve mentioned my miscarriage on here before, so this pregnancy was a biiiig surprise. The best kind of surprise – but still a surprise. Fast forward to a few months and I suddenly had to deal with the maternity leave paper work, blah blah. I mean, I was going back to work. Why wouldn’t I? I loved my job.
So I had everything in order to go back to work November 13, 2013. Then July 30, 2013 happened. And my baby girl was born. I still thought I would go back to work after that. I mean I immediately started pumping to store up milk for G when I went back. To be honest, I didn’t give too much thought to staying home until her 2 month birthday. That’s when it kinda hit me. That I only had a few more precious weeks of staying at home. For some moms, staying at home is their dream, and for others, they need to work – for financial and personal reasons. I wasn’t really sure where I fell into that category. And I’m still not sure I fall in either category at all. Maybe I’m somewhere in the middle? But what I do know is my heart changed when I realized this day was getting closer. My heart longed to be home right now. Honestly, I was somewhat surprised. As I said before, I absolutely LOVED my job. And it was super risky of me to give up such a position. Questions were racing through my mind and I’d be lying if I said they still don’t pop up every now and then – will I ever find a job that I love like that again? How could I leave a job after only being there a few months? What will my co-workers think? Am I throwing in the towel? Should I go back for a little while and then make a decision? And to be honest I don’t have answers to a lot of them.
But even still, I felt the pull on my heart. So Matt and I sat down, realistically looked at our options and prayed. I am so grateful that we concluded that I could stay home for right now. So it’s official. I am a stay-at-home-mommy for the time being. And I never want to take it for granted. As hard as it was to walk away from such a great opportunity I am doing what I’m supposed to do what now. And it feels good. Good to know this was a decision that came with so much thought and prayer. And so grateful for the support from my family, especially my husband - because this stay at home mommy thing - well it's the hardest job I've ever done. The most rewarding - but still the hardest. I'm still trying to find my groove if you will. G and I have started really working on a "routine" and we are learning to manage our time better.
So there it is - a lot has been going on over here to say the least. Thank you for listening sweet friends!
Oh and more about being a stay at home mommy and finding happiness on Friday. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand you can check out my guest post on the lovely Chloe's blog - Beyond Blessed.