Lauren is the blogger and business mogul over at Flawless and she is amazing! We met in college through a mutual best friend and I am currently addicted to her blog. Her wedding day also holds a special place in my heart because it's the same day as mine! So with that, I will let her impart some serious knowledge in your lives....----------------------------------------
|seriously, how cute is her family?|
Hi everyone! I'm Lauren, I blog over at http://flawlessbylaurenblog.com/ about beauty tips, hair-do's, event planning, life, and a dash of anything in between! Stop by and visit my blog sometime. I do makeup + hair for weddings and events (along with event planning) if you are interested or have a friend in need, send them to my website at http://flawlessbylauren.com.
Okay, enough with the self-plugging... on to the good stuff!
What have I learned since getting married?! The better question is what haven't I learned! My husband, Chad, and I were married on September 25, 2010 (same day as Denise!). To this day, that is still the most unbelievable, happiest, amazing, fabulous, wonderful, day of my life. I guess in the long run we are still very much in the "honeymoon" stage, only having been married a year and 9 months... but wow a lot has happened during our marriage already!
Marriage is very much a roller-coaster of emotions. The best part is, you get to ride the ups and downs of this roller-coaster with the love of your life and what could be better than that? A hottie by your side every step of the way. I like this theme park!
I've learned that no matter what hills [challenges], are thrown into your marriage, if you face them TOGETHER, it always seems easier. Chad and I have had our fair share of struggles through our marriage. Some of them involve us personally, some our families, and some our friends. But never, ever, EVER, have we thought of facing these struggles alone. That's what marriage is about. Two become one, you form a team, and as the old saying goes, "there is no I in team!".
You make sacrifices. At the time it might seem like the worst thing in the world... but you have to sacrifice, you have to compromise, because that's what makes your marriage fair. That's how you gain each others respect - by giving up something so that the other gets what they want, and vis-versa.
I'll give you an example:
This may seem petty, and now looking back, mayyyybe it was. I wanted to go to a certain party with a certain group of friends on a certain night of the year that is HUGE for getting together and celebrating with friends (just for the point of the story, let's call this event, New Years Eve). Chad hadn't spent a New Years Eve with his friends from home in several years. He was either with me at another celebration, or he was at college. I always spent New Years Eve with my group of friends. Always. It wasn't really a question. Until Chad decided that he would really like to spend this celebration with his friends. It was one thing he asked... he doesn't ask for much... and I normally get my way... so I gave up my celebration so he could have his. I ended up having a great time with our friends from Chad's hometown. Yes, I missed my friends so much, but this is something Chad wanted to do, so I made a sacrifice. Even though it seems small and petty, little things like this can mean so much in the long run.
Okay, enough of that heavy stuff. You want to know what else I've learned? I've learned that...
- My husband will never load the dish washer without me having to ask him. It's just not something he will do.
- Nagging doesn't get you anywhere. At least not with my husband. The less I nag and just mention things casually without placing blame on anyone in particular, the more likely whatever it is I want to be done, will get done. If I nag, forget it.
- Kissing each other is important. In public. In private. In front of your families. I don't care where you do it... just kiss, and often.
- Always say "I love you" when you hang up the phone.
- His socks stink. Bad. AND the longer they stay in the laundry basket, the worse they will smell.
- Plan a date night. You must do it at least once every 2 weeks (if not every week). It's fun and always needed.
- Golf is NOT seasonal. If I complain, he will say, "it's just for the spring, it's just for the summer, it's just for the fall..." but really, it's for the whole year. Let's be honest. Go ahead and get over that one right now. Find a group of girls that like wine and get together as often as you can when he is off playing.
- Write on each other's facebook wall (yeah, cheesy, but I don't care... I still get excited every time I see he has posted on my wall!).
- Adopt a family in lieu of Christmas gifts for each other. This was one of the best things we have ever done. We will always remember our first Christmas as husband + wife and the family we adopted.
- Plan vacations. If you can't afford it right now, plan and start saving for one two years from now. It's so much fun to plan together and travel together. I wouldn't trade our vacations for the world.
I am by no means a relationship or marriage expert. This is just what works for us. Every marriage is different, but I encourage you to spend time together, enjoy each other, and find your happiness together.