Awhile back, a sweet friend had left a comment on a blog
post over here. I responded and we ended
up emailing back and forth a bit. During
our correspondence she suggested that I write about what I wish I had known the
first year of marriage. This sweet
friend I am talking about is closing in on her own wedding day and therefore,
her own first year of marriage! She is
weeks away and I KNOW she will be such a gorgeous bride and an amazing
wife.
So in celebration of the bride-to-be, and because I try to
give my readers what they want (even if it takes a few months!) I’m here to
tell ya what I had wish I had known about the first year of marriage (I did a
series last year and had some amazing guest posts that you can see here). One of the main reasons it’s taken me a few
weeks for this post is because I have thought long and hard on this. Marriage is a tricky thing you see. And in this day-in-age, with social media, Facebook,
blogs – the INTERNET – it can be made to seem easy and sometimes unimportant,
and those two things could not be farther than the truth. To write this post I have been reflecting on
my own marriage more than ever. I have a
strong marriage and for that I am thankful.
Is it perfect? Not even
close. Do we argue? Of course.
But the most important factor contributing to its strength is our
work. My marriage is my priority, as it
is my husband’s. And so here are two
pieces of advice I wish I had heard before taking the plunge…
1. It is never
50/50. A preacher said this at a friend’s
wedding the other week and I loved it. It
really is so true. Marriage is rarely
50/50. Usually someone is pulling more
weight with some stuff and vice versa.
And the roles usually reverse too!
That’s the beauty of it. Matt
meets me where I need him to and I try to do the same with him. It’s never about being “equal” but instead
about doing what we have to do to support the other person.
2. Marriage is so so
fun. I mean really. You are with your best friend all the time
and you get to do life with them?!?! I
feel like I didn’t hear this enough when I was engaged. I heard tons of advice on how to keep a
marriage strong, how to respect your husband and how to compromise and budget
as a family – but not enough about how amazingly wonderful this gift of
marriage really is. Because it is a
gift. A sacred gift, and trust me – it is
so much fun. You think you love your
spouse now? Wait til you see him hold
your first child, hold you when you lose someone close, or dance around the
kitchen with you on your one year wedding anniversary. Trust me, it gets better and sweeter with
time.
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