When her heart breaks, mine breaks ten-fold

Thursday, August 22, 2013

a favorite from G's newborn session.  c/o The Coral Peacock Photography

My daughter is 3 weeks and 3 days old today.  These past weeks have been the best.  Ever.  They’ve also been the hardest and most tiring.  But still, the best.  Since bringing her home G has been dealing with some serious reflux though.  She’s been exercising her lungs a whole lot and feeding is not always easy.  We’ve had good days and days that are harder than others.  But the hardest part of it all is seeing her little lip quiver and knowing that she is in pain, and there’s nothing mommy can do about it.  I swear I think I’ve cried more tears than she has.  It just breaks my heart.  No.  Breaks my soul.  To see my baby going through something I cannot fix.  I love when she cries because of a dirty diaper or she’s hungry.  Mommy can fix both of those and make her a happy baby.  But reflux?  You suck.  Mommy can only do so much to fix you. 

Now this whole reflux situation is one thing.  It usually subsides after a little while and we are working on making it better.  But y’all, what am I gonna do later in life?  I mean, if she skins her knee falling off her bike?  Or the way worse emotional pains… a bully at school?  Her first heart break?  I’m not sure my heart can take it. 


So Lord, prepare my heart.  Because I’m just not sure mama can take baby girl in any kind of pain.  Ever.  So boys, beware.  I could turn from sweet mama to crazy mama real fast J

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8 comments :

Anda Alexandra said...

the pictures are just too sweet :) I wish you all the happiness in the world :D may she be strong and healthy!

Nicole Shea said...

I know exactly what you mean...Ben and I sat up our first night home with Jack and our minds raced with the same thoughts. So scary how many bad things can happen. The only thing that gave us piece of mind is our faith and God's promise to work all things out for good for those who believe.

Sheila@TheFailteHouse said...

Denise, this was just the sweetest post. I almost teared reading it, what a beautiful love :) I hope the reflux get's better soon, I will send some prayers your way! XO

The Yarbrough's said...

Reflux is the worse....well, teething is pretty bad too. :/ We've had issues with reflux with Brayden and Bailey both. Once we figured out that's what it was...their dr. put them on medicine and our lives were sooo much better. lol We heard alot of screaming before we figured out what it was. I hope G's gets better real soon. This too shall come to pass. ;) Hang in there!!

brittany said...

oh my gosh, seriously. all of this. the first time someone hurts my babes feelings, i will probably be tempted to ruin their life for good!

Natalie | Mrs. Janney | said...

That picture is GORGEOUS. And I know what you mean. The thought of someone hurting Henry makes me want to cry.

And I think I cried almost hourly the first month Henry was alive. It will get easier. I hope her reflux gets better!

Nicole Marie said...

aww poor thing! i'm sorry you guys are going throught that but i hope it get better quick!

Bianca Martino said...

Girlfriend, my heart goes out to you. James {my second, he's 7.5 months} has horrible reflux- he was actually diagnosed with GERD. It's awful!! More than happy to pass along some tricks that worked for us, it was definitely a learning process and LOTS of trial and error!!! stay strong! PS that picture from the newborn session....amazing!(: xoxoxo

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