Awhile back, a sweet friend had left a comment on a blog
post over here. I responded and we ended
up emailing back and forth a bit. During
our correspondence she suggested that I write about what I wish I had known the
first year of marriage. This sweet
friend I am talking about is closing in on her own wedding day and therefore,
her own first year of marriage! She is
weeks away and I KNOW she will be such a gorgeous bride and an amazing
wife.
So in celebration of the bride-to-be, and because I try to
give my readers what they want (even if it takes a few months!) I’m here to
tell ya what I had wish I had known about the first year of marriage (I did a
series last year and had some amazing guest posts that you can see here). One of the main reasons it’s taken me a few
weeks for this post is because I have thought long and hard on this. Marriage is a tricky thing you see. And in this day-in-age, with social media, Facebook,
blogs – the INTERNET – it can be made to seem easy and sometimes unimportant,
and those two things could not be farther than the truth. To write this post I have been reflecting on
my own marriage more than ever. I have a
strong marriage and for that I am thankful.
Is it perfect? Not even
close. Do we argue? Of course.
But the most important factor contributing to its strength is our
work. My marriage is my priority, as it
is my husband’s. And so here are two
pieces of advice I wish I had heard before taking the plunge…
1. It is never
50/50. A preacher said this at a friend’s
wedding the other week and I loved it. It
really is so true. Marriage is rarely
50/50. Usually someone is pulling more
weight with some stuff and vice versa.
And the roles usually reverse too!
That’s the beauty of it. Matt
meets me where I need him to and I try to do the same with him. It’s never about being “equal” but instead
about doing what we have to do to support the other person.
2. Marriage is so so
fun. I mean really. You are with your best friend all the time
and you get to do life with them?!?! I
feel like I didn’t hear this enough when I was engaged. I heard tons of advice on how to keep a
marriage strong, how to respect your husband and how to compromise and budget
as a family – but not enough about how amazingly wonderful this gift of
marriage really is. Because it is a
gift. A sacred gift, and trust me – it is
so much fun. You think you love your
spouse now? Wait til you see him hold
your first child, hold you when you lose someone close, or dance around the
kitchen with you on your one year wedding anniversary. Trust me, it gets better and sweeter with
time.
Three years ago today, I made the best decision I've ever made. I said, "I do" to the best man I know. Doing life with him has been an honor and I thank my lucky stars each and every night I get to call him mine. I never thought I could be happier than I was on this day three years ago. But every day since has proved me wrong. 8 weeks and 1 day ago our family grew by one. Seeing my husband as a father has forever changed my heart. I always knew he'd be a great one because of the kind of husband he was to me. But I never could have imagined a life this sweet.
Matt, I love you more today than I ever thought possible. Thank you for loving me fiercely and without reserve. Thank you for taking me as I am, faults and all. And thank you for making each day with you the best day I've ever had.
Happy Anniversary Matthew Warren Lopatka! I love you!
On the first day of my last trimester I had lots of blog posts in mind – nursery updates, a letter to our baby girl and babymoon pictures.But I felt that all those could wait because today all I wanted to do was say thank you.Thank you for being my rock these past 6 months (and long before).Thank you for picking up the slack when it comes to laundry and dishes around the house when I’m too tired or emotional to deal with it.Thank you for making my lunch after I go to bed so I can have a worry-free morning the next day.Thank you for walking our puppy when we get home late and we both know there’s no way I’m gonna do it.Thank you for being so enthusiastic about all of my dinners even when they don’t turn out exactly like they were supposed to.Thank you for telling me I’m beautiful, especially when I feel like a roly-poly.Thank you for jumping at the chance to touch my belly when our baby girl starts wiggling.Thank you for always encouraging me to relax.That is so hard for me and I’m so thankful that you know me well-enough to know that look in my eyes.That look that comes when I’m running through my to-do lists in my head and when slowly anxiety and stress starts to creep into my brain.It’s like you know what’s happening and you know exactly when to grab me and hold me.I feel like a crazy person sometimes yes, but it’s a fact that without you I would have been officially diagnosed loony by now.I love you so much Matt.Georgia is one lucky lady to have a daddy like you.
Thank you for loving us fiercely and unconditionally.
Today, Kate is over here blogging about her 1 year anniversary (and her adorable idea to stick with tradition for the gift)! SO excited to have her and I hope you will hop on over to her adorable blog and say hello when you're finished here :) *****************************************************************************
Hello Gratefully Inspired Readers! I’m Kate and I blog over at A Peony for Your Thoughts. I was thrilled when Denise asked me to take over her blog for the day. I love reading her blog and I couldn’t be happier for her as she just recently announced that she’s pregnant! I can’t wait to follow along with her journey, as I’m sure it will fuel my baby fever ;) I’m a newlywed coming up on our 1st anniversary in March. Can I still say I’m a newlywed after a year? Yes? I thought so too.
I’m here to talk about two of my favorite things, my husband and shopping.In keeping with tradition Tim and I have decided to do a “paper” gift since that’s the designated gift for year one. You can find gifts by year here.We bought our first home just before our wedding and we are still severely lacking in artwork, ahem...or anything on our walls.So, we’ve decided to get each other a print that we think the other person would like.I thought I’d share a few that I liked for Tim, and a few that I like for me!
I love this Hafiz quote, in fact it was part of our wedding ceremony so would really be my first choice as a present.But I can’t find it in a print that I like.I guess I could design and print one myself?I found it on a plaque on etsy, but that doesn’t count as paper, and I’m not a fan of the font. (I’m picky)
Are you married?Do you and your partner follow the specific gift by year tradition?I’m sure we may slack off on it after a few years, but for year one I think we’ll give it a go.I’d love to hear how you celebrate!
Saturday was one of my favorite. days. ever. My sweet Anna said "I do" to her best friend and everything about that day - about the weekend really - was perfection. But one of the coolest parts of the wedding night happened around 9:30 when the bride, the bridal party and some close friends started a flash mob to surprise the groom. Needless to say, he was shocked, confused and loving every minute of it. For your Monday pleasure, here is a video of the flash mob on Saturday.
“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
- Matthew 19:4-6
This weekend I will watch my best friend marry the man of her dreams. I could not be more excited, proud and honored to be standing beside her on Saturday. The festivities kicked off last night with some serious mani/pedi time and things are only getting better from there.
Anna & Casey - I love you both and am so excited for your special weekend!
OK so this is
probably going to be My. Favorite. Post. Ever. For 2 reasons. 1) My husband is
here posting about what he has learned since marrying ME. 2) I’m sharing two
video highlights from mywedding day.Can you see me smiling from ear to ear? (I decided not to post a ton of pictures because I did thatduring my wedding recap here). This post also might be the longest post ever,
so bear with me guys and keep reading! I promise it's worth it (I hope so at least). But before I let the hubs take over I’m
going to reflect a bit too. So here it
is dear readers, what I’ve learned since marrying Matt.
What Denise
has learned…
As I sit here
to reflect about what I have learned I just want to thank all of my guest bloggers. It has been an honor havingthese fabulous ladiesspill what they have learned since saying I do. I’m not even sure I can follow them but I’ll
do my best. So here goes nothing…
1) Comparison
is the thief of all joy.
Period. In this age where everyone posts
everything on the internet via Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, blogs and a ton
more avenues, keep in mind they are posting their best self. We are not seeing the heart ache, tears or
anger in their life – the fender bender, broken wine glass or fight with their
husband. No one posts that stuff. And you know what? Maybe they really don’t have any of
that. And that’s amazing for them. But be thankful for what you do have and most importantly who you have in your life. That goes not just for your husband or wife
but your family and friends too. Be
thankful for them and what they bring to your life. I have learned that what I have and who I
have in my life are mine – special to me and that God has placed each of these
people in my life for a reason. And for
that I am thankful. So next time your
swooning over the cute new house someone just bought or the beautiful chiavari
chairs at their wedding (and being sad it’s not you), be happy for them, but be
thankful for what you have too. And know
that we each pave our own way and that is
a true blessing.
2)Have secrets and keep them.
Number 1 has led me to the second thing I have learned since saying I
do. Again, in a world where everyone’s
life is on display via the World Wide Web, it is important to have some secrets
and keep them. Every now and then I’ll post the flowers that
Matt sent me or a sweet note, but I don’t post half of our little secrets. Those
are sacred. The world does not need
to know about our dance party last night or my surprise chocolate cupcakes –
because those are things that we share and no one else. So friends, I warn you – don’t post every
little detail of your marriage or your life.
Save some secrets for those you love.
Secrets create a bond and reminds me that what I have is special and for
no one else but me.
3) Let each other try it their way and
even fail if needed. Sounds weird I know, but I’ve learned that it’s
OK for me to let Matt fail and vice versa.
I remember a pivotal conversation with my mom about two months after I
got married. I had called her because I
was frustrated my car needed something fixed that wasn’t a necessity (like the
automatic window or something I can’t remember) and Matt didn’t want to fix
it. And I remember saying to my mom, “but
dad would have fixed it.” (ugh looking
back I sounded like such a little brat) Right
then and there my mama set me straight, and from then on I have not disrespected
my husband like that again. My mom
reminded me that my dad wasn’t always the man he is now and that he’s not
perfect either, and most important – that Matt is not my dad. I cannot expect him to do the things my dad
did nor do I really want him to. I married Matt because of the person HE is and
no other reason. And in the end,
Matt was completely right. My stupid
mishap on my car didn’t need to be fixed and I know he would never let me drive
something unsafe. Another example - we
bought our first home about a year after tying the knot. It was an older house with a lot of charm and
character but also a lot of things that needed to be fixed. A week after moving in the door knob
broke. What the heck. It was late at night, we were both tired and
annoyed, and my hubby wanted to try and fix it himself while I wanted to go and
buy a new one at Home Depot and be done with it. But it was then that I let him try to fix it –
because his pride was more important to me than that stupid door knob. He did fix it but eventually we had to get
another one and that’s OK. He was able
to try and succeed and learned from that.
When I’m in the kitchen cooking and am burning the pasta or the
casserole (which happens more than I’d like to admit), Matt lets me cook and
then eats every last bite. Despite the
fact that he is a MUCH better cook than I am and I know he could offer helpful
advice, he understands my need to try and fail so that I can learn. So, don’t be so quick to correct and criticize. Let each other try things and fail if need be
– that is how you live and learn together.
4) Pray.
Pray often. Pray together. Pray for each other. Being in prayer together has strengthened our
relationship more than I can express.
Hearing my husband talk to God and pray for me and our family touches my
heart in a place that is so deep. When I
am frustrated with Matt, I pray for patience.
When he is frustrated with me, he prays for grace. Because we’re not in this alone (thank
goodness) and we are not perfect – we need help. Bottom line. I am thankful that our marriage is grounded
in our faith and that I have confidence that my husband is praying constantly.
5) Invest in the people in each other’s
lives. It is important that my best friends are also
Matt’s friends and that his friends are mine too. Take time to really get to know and invest in
the people in your spouse’s life and love them unconditionally. I am so lucky that Matt’s friends also have
amazing girlfriends and wives too but I have truly gotten to know his
friends. I hope they know that I would
do anything for them just as Matt would.
Matt has also taken time to invest in my friends. He probably doesn’t know how much it even
means to me when he comes home and says, “Have you talked to Mere lately? How is Jack’s studying going?” or “You haven’t
seen Kristen lately, you should grab dinner with her.” It’s those statements that confirm his
interest and relationship with my friends and it means the world to me. I hope my friends know how much they mean to
him too. I am also thankful for the friends we have met together. Overall, be friends with his friends and vice
versa. It matters.
So those are just
5 little tid bits in to what I have learned since my wedding day. I could honestly go on forever. I could talk about the importance of
distraction-free dinners, date night and taking good care of yourself to be
your best spouse but I am scared you guys won’t read the whole post if it’s too
long so I’ll stop and hand it over to man who steals my heart every day. I should warn you though – this is uncensored
and unedited. Matt wrote and I posted –
no edits at all – he’s a funny one too :).
So here he is….
What Matthew has learned…
When Denise
first asked me to write about what I had learned since we got married in late
September 2010, I thought to myself “no problem.” But as I sit here trying to put my thoughts
to words, I find it extremely difficult. But, here are 25 things I have learned
since getting married!
1) Happy Wife = Happy Life
2) The world does not revolve around
sports, fantasy football and poker
3) Shit happens (I used to tell myself
Denise did not go #2)
4) Bachelor and Bachelorette for women =
Sunday and Monday Night Football for men
5) Date night once weekly = mandatory
6) Going to sleep at 11pm is late
7) Never go to sleep mad
8) Denise would watch E! News every night
if given the opportunity
9) Week-long vacation once yearly =
mandatory
10) It is important to be friends with
your spouse’s friends
11) The best annual Christmas present for
my wife is an US Weekly subscription
12) Listening is often more important than
talking
13) Nothing beats a good night kiss
14) It is important to switch between
romantic comedies and action movies for movie night
15) Denise is the most beautiful woman in
the world (well I knew that before I got married, but I am reminded much more
frequently now)
16) It is fun to do things we both enjoy
17) I love Marvel movies (X-Men, Iron Man,
Spiderman) – well I knew this before I got married, but still….
18) I am the only person in my household
who enjoys Marvel movies
19) Every young couple should have a dog
20) It is okay to agree to disagree
21) Nothing beats making dinner with
Denise
22) I secretly enjoy The Bachelor and The
Bachelorette
23) Denise secretly enjoys watching
football all day Saturday and Sunday ;)
24) Three things will last
forever--faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love
25) Happy Wife = Happy Life
Marriage
truly is a gift from God and I am the luckiest guy in the world to have the
opportunity to marry my best friend.
Isn't he wonderful? Love. Him. Sigh. And now for my two favorite video highlights (both thanks to K2 Productions)... there is some overlap in the footage but I couldn't resist sharing both because I love the songs and they make me happy...
Meet Celeste... Aside from being gorgeous, sweet and a mini clone to Martha Stewart (her recipes and herb garden?!?), Celeste is also a sweet friend. We met through a mutual best friend and I have added her blog, Raleighweds, to my daily reads. She is honest to the core and I love her writing. So dear readers, here she is.... ----------------------------------------------
What I’ve learned since saying I do… the real question is
where do I start? When Denise asked me to write about what I had learned since
saying ‘I do’ my mind ran a mile a minute. I had learned SO much after saying
‘I do.’ I learned that marriage was much more than I expected. That the little
moments like snuggling up on the couch with the hubs or tickling him are the
moments I treasure the most. I learned that laughter is the perfect solution to
getting lost and running late. I learned to not take things so seriously and to
just have fun with it. I learned to care more about relationships and to love
harder.
Before we got married, I thought I knew all there was to
love – how it worked, what it took, what it looked like. After saying ‘I do,’ I
realized I have so much to learn. Every day I am learning something new about
being a wife. And although admittedly, some most days the lessons are
learned the hard way, each day gets better and better.
I learned that love is a verb. love takes effort. love is
selfless. But most importantly, I learned that when you make love a verb, take
the effort and put your spouse before yourself, love is a hundred times sweeter
{and things run so much smoother!}. By putting forth effort, love became
effortless.
A few areas that I continually have to work at BUT have made
a huge impact in our relationship are:
- Giving him the benefit of the doubt. When he
forgot to stop by the store and pick up the eggs, I have to give him the
benefit of the doubt.. he just forgot. It’s not because he didn’t want to or
he’s lazy. He’s just as human as I am. If I assume the worst of him, I am only both
of us.
- - If it bothers me, do it myself. We all have our
pet peeves, whether it’s leaving the toilet seat up, dishes in the sink or in my case, moving the soap from the sink
in and out of the shower {weird.. I know}. One of the best pieces of advice we received
was that if something bugs you, do it yourself. I found myself nitpicking at
what he could do better, should be doing or telling him what he needed to be
doing to make me happy… as if I did everything perfectly. I learned that by
throwing his dirty underoos into the hamper was much more satisfying than being
angry at them lying on the floor and nagging him about doing it and then
getting mad when he didn’t. I do it because it bothers me {not him}. I don’t
want to waste my time being upset at the little stuff when I have SO much to
love him for.
- - Do what he likes. I’ve got to make the effort to
do what he likes. I may not be interested in playing sports 24/7 or even 1/7
but my husband is. Occasionally I need to go into his world, do what he loves,
AND do it with joy. I love when he joins me at World Market or watches the
girliest movie available in Redbox or surprises me with flowers. I want to make
him feel the same way. Feel loved. Special. Like the most awesome dude on the
planet {cause he totally is}. And if that means showing up with cupcakes {or
anything that contains 90% sugar} or embarrassing myself at basketball, then so
be it. Because the joy that follows is more than worth it.
It’s funny because as I am writing this, I am realizing I
need to try harder. I need to love harder. Actively trying to actively
love my husband selflessly day-in and day-out takes work {and I fail miserably
at it more often than not} but the work we put into our relationship doesn’t
even compare to the amazing benefits. I
chose to spend the rest of my life with the most precious, amazing man. I want
to make him feel that way every day. I want to cherish the moments we have
together. The things we learn together. The places we go together. I want to
share all the little joys and the big adventures with him. When we are old and
crusty, I want to look back and know we gave it our all. We made it work
because we worked at it. In only a short
nine months, I have already learned so much more about love, sacrifice and joy
than I have in 20 some years. I can’t wait to see what more we have to learn.
And, p.s. what comes after you say ‘I do’ is so much more
than you can anticipate. It takes work and there are struggles but the joy and
the adventure outweigh it all.
Like all good things, this series must come to an end. I will be wrapping things up tomorrow with what I have learned and (drum roll please....) my hubby has learned! I know I can't believe I got him to write...
Jessie and I met in college when we joined the same sorority. She is one of the sweetest girls I know and I got the privilege of catching up with her a few weeks ago at the beach! She is also the writer behind the The Long and Short of Itand OH MY GOODNESS does she have an eye for fashion and decorating. Just take a look ather kitchen renovation... I die. Oh, and wait to you see her wedding pictures. OK OK here she is.... ----------------------------------------------
I am so thrilled that Denise asked me to guest post and share what I have learned since I said "I Do". My husband and I celebrated our one year anniversary a couple of weeks ago. I have to say that I have loved being married but it is not always rainbows and unicorns. It is hard work. Here are a few things I have learned (and am still working on)...
are you dying yet? she's stunning
Don't sweat the small stuff. You know that toothpaste lid that your significant other never puts back on the toothpaste, let it go. No one is perfect. ( I happen to be the person who never puts the lid back on)
Be yourself. You do not have to have everything in common. It is okay to have things you enjoy doing without the other person.
Communication is key. This sounds so cliche and I cannot believe I am writing this. It is probably the hardest thing to learn in the first year. We are still working on this. We try to have a time when we say all the little things that are annoying us so it does not turn into bigger issues.
Make your marriage a priority. I am bad at this. There are some weeks between work, friends, grocery shopping and laundry that I look up and realize I have not really had a conversation with my husband. Sometimes when you have so many obligations it is easy to put your husband on the back burner because he will always be around. Make sure that you take time out of your week to make time for each other.
Comparison is the thief of all joy. Do not compare your relationship to people around you. Again, no one is perfect. Instead of focusing on what other people are doing, focus on your own relationship.
Say I am sorry and mean it!
While I was reflecting on the past year I thought I would ask my husband what he has learned. His response...
Remember Brittany? She was my first guest blogger... well guess what? SHE'S BACK! She needs no introduction so without further ado, here is what Brittany has learned since she said I do...
----------------------------------------
I’ve only
been married for a little over a month, so when Denise asked me if I would want
to write about what I’ve learned since “I do” I just laughed. Advice is
supposed to come from people with lots of experience and time tested theories,
right?!?! Wrong! Lucky for yall I am extremely opinionated and always pumped to
share my point of view. In a nutshell, what I’ve learned since I’ve said “I do”
is that IT.GETS.REAL!
My husband
and I live in Saudi Arabia and it is just a mess over here. The desert aint no
joke sista; it is H-O-T-T hot! I’m talking like a daily heat index of 125
degrees. So while most newly-weds are busy nesting and practicing their baby
making skills, I am literally laying on the tile floor in a pool of sweat
because our air conditioner has broken for the millionth time and I am
convinced I am going to die of a heat stroke! That’s right, you can just call
me The Sexy Wifey a.k.a it just got real.
This is a
country where the food can be questionable at best. There have been quite a few
date nights that have been cut short because one of us have suddenly lost all
color in our face and began sweating profusely. The race home is always an
exciting fight for your life as we dodge the wreckless drivers on these
no-rules-roads (seriously driving laws basically do not exists here), and
!BONUS! once we get home we are reminded of our lack of privacy. We live in an
apartment that has one bathroom, so guess what?!?! it.gets.real.
I think the
first moment I realized how real it really is was when we were unpacking our
bags in Saudi and Daniel opened my suitcase to find 80 tampons; he was
horrified and I loooooved it! I thrive on awkward moments. Not the awkward
moments that hurt somebody’s feelings, but the moments that bring in a physical
uncomfortable-ness that leaves you teetering on laughing or running as far away
as possible. I still laugh out loud when I think about his reaction, “Who needs
that many?!?!”. Ummm this girl does because True Life: I live in a country that
does not sell them! Poor Daniel, he just found out that it.gets.real.
But getting
real is what makes this journey a lot of fun. It’s not all about the tragic (a.k.a.
hilarious) moments of life; there are the sweet moments too. Like when he prays
for me or when he is talking to his friends or family and casually refers to me
as his wife or when he grabs me for a random slow dance in the kitchen… that
stuff is sweet, but the real stuff is funny! And I fully admit that I live for
the surge of fear and adrenaline that runs through my veins when I realize,
“Holy moly… I am married… legally bound… ‘till death do us part… grow old with
me… make some babies… living in Saudi Arabia… married!”, is what keeps it fresh
and it is definitely what keeps me laughing.
“Sexiness
wears thin after a while, and beauty fades. But to be married to a man who
makes you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat.”
AKAone of my best friends in the whole universe. I could write novels about our friendship and how much she means to me, but she does a pretty good introduction below so I'll let her take it from here. Oh and she writes a great blog over at Beautiful Things - give her some love. You know you want to.... ----------------------------------------
Hey
y’all, I’m Mallory! For some background, Denise and I have been BFFs since 8th
grade. We’ve shared lots of things over the years – toothbrushes (ew, I know!),
beds, bathing suits (I’m sure this is kinda weird to some of you, too but it
was normal when we were in high school and lived at the beach), best friends, a
love for Jesus, hairstyles (as you can tell below), and a love for all things
Spanish. In college we both ended up at NC State University, majored in
communication/public relations, and studied abroad in Spain. After college
comes the best part – we both married sexy little men from Wilmington (our
hometown) who went to our rival high school!
Mission trip in Jamaica, circa 2001. This happens to also be where it all started with Nisey and Matteo. Must have been the hair, huh?
So when
Denise asked me to guest post I was a little hesitant. I’ve officially held the
title of Mrs. Russell for seven whole months which doesn’t exactly qualify me
to dish out marital advice.
with Nise and matt at our wedding in November
While I
have significantly less experience in the marriage department than most, the
past seven months have been the most dynamic of my life. I’m not sure anything
could have prepared me for what marriage would be like but I’m going to do my
best to fill you in on what I’ve learned so far. And for the record, I need
daily reminders for every single one!
1.Treat your spouse as though
they are the best gift you’ve ever been given ... because they are! Don’t get me wrong,
being married is hard work. There are days when I think, “What have I gotten
myself into?” But your spouse is a precious gift from God, just as you were a
gift to them. I try to be mindful of this every day.
2.Marriage is not a
competition.
I often catch myself arguing, “Yes, I did tell you about this!” ... especially
when it comes to our schedules. Why do we always want to prove we’re right and
our spouse is wrong? If you can realize early on that you’re teammates rather
than opponents then many would-be arguments will never come to fruition. :)
3.Check your pride at the
door. Since
a marriage is all about putting your spouse’s needs above your own, there is
simply no room for pride in this equation. This is, by far, the toughest for me
and something I struggle with on a daily basis. Luckily this perma-grin is real
and Kyle reminds me not to take myself too seriously.
4.Respect your husband, even when you really don’t
feel like it. Men’s deepest need is to be honored and respected (just as our
deepest need is to be loved!). What does this look like? Building him up rather
than tearing him down. We often stomp on our mens’ pride without even realizing
it – if you asked your man what types of things make him feel disrespected
you’d probably be surprised by some of the answers. I was – Kyle told me when I
say, “Kyle gets so mad when I ...” in front of our friends he feels
disrespected. I have never thought twice about those words coming out of my
mouth but instead of trying to reason with him I apologized and promised to not
say that anymore. And I totally failed and said it a couple days later.
Thankfully I have an extremely forgiving husband, which brings me to my next
point ...
5.Be quick to forgive. Sometimes it’s almost as
though I enjoy being angry/bitter (for the record, I don’t, ha!). I’m sure Kyle
is convinced of it from the number of times he’s tried to reconcile after an
argument and I’m still sitting there with my arms crossed, not wanting to talk.
Really, Mal? At the end of the day you’re kinda stuck with your spouse. That
‘till death do us part stuff is no joke. Stepping back and looking at the big
picture of your marriage will compel you to forgive. You made a covenant with
your spouse and God, and most importantly the point of marriage is not to make
you happy, but holy and more like Jesus.
6.Pray for your husband. As you do this, your
thoughts towards him will change and as a result, your actions towards him will
be an overflow of your heart rather than temporary frustrations. I’ve learned
if you desire for your man to step up to the plate in an area of his life,
getting on your knees and praying for God to transform him is a million times
more powerful than manipulating him. When we first started dating I longed for
Kyle to be the spiritual leader in our relationship. What ultimately changed
things? When I started praying and stopped nagging, Kyle began to grow into the
strong, Godly man I longed for. He dug into God’s Word and even joined a men’s small
group.
Thanks for reading. I loved reflecting on my
first few months of marriage and am looking forward to connecting with Denise’s
readers over at Beautiful Things!
.JPG)
